Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Obama's Mad As Hell And He's Not Gonna Take It Anymore

Obama: Model of Competence

[OVAL OFFICE]

Obama: Thank you for joining this call today. As I have always said, make no mistake, this oil spill is and has been my number one priority. There are those who say we should do nothing, but let me be clear, I am absolutely certain that generations from now, we will be able to look back and…

Muffled Voice: Excuse me, sir…

Obama: …tell our children that this was the moment when the flow of the oil into the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal…

Muffled Voice: Sir, please, sir?

Obama: Who is that?

Muffled Voice: Sir, we can barely hear you, could you speak a little louder please?

Obama: Could you say that again, I can barely hear you. There must be something wrong with the connection.

Muffled Voice: Can you speak a little louder please?

Obama: IT MUST BE THE PHONE, I SWEAR...AHEM...AS I HAVE ALWAYS SAID, MAKE NO MISTAKE…

Muffled Voice: We got that part, sir.

[BACKGROUND: various voices laughing]

Obama: WHO’S LAUGHING? WHO IS THAT?

[BACKGROUND: laughing increases]

Obama: Stop it. I’m telling you, I’m not going to rest or be satisfied until I find out who is laughing on this call. I’m going to talk with the folks who potentially have the best answers as to who’s laughing, so I know whose ass to kick. I’m telling you right now, whoever is laughing better shut their pie hole this instant, or I swear I’m going to take this receiver and plug the damn hole.

Muffled Voice: That's much better, sir. We can hear you just fine now.

[BACKGROUND: uncontrollable laughter]

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