Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Foreign Policy in a Ditch

The White House

Office of the Press Secretary

_____________________________________________________________

For Immediate Release                                                               March 22, 2011

Remarks by the President at a DNC Fundraiser

12:50 P.M. EDT

THE PRESIDENT: (Applause.) Thank you. Thank you, everybody. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Everybody, please have a seat. Have a seat.

So, Democrats, it is wonderful to be here, wonderful to be among so many good friends. We live in a dangerous world. You all know this. We all are aware of what's going on. You know what I'm talking about. Protests, revolutions, dictators on the precipice. All dangerous stuff. We don’t want any part of that -- I don't want any part of that if it involves doing anything other than giving a speech.

I mean, think about it, we’re the folks who were behind the steering wheel and drove the car into the ditch. Anything to get out of being in front driving this thing. (Applause.)

But look, we had to look like we were doing something. And so we asked France to get in there and put its boots on -- it's galoshes -- and they pushed and they shoved. And NATO was sweating and we were were standing, watching them and sipping on a Slurpee. (Laughter.)

And we were pointing at them saying, "how come you’re not pushing harder, how come you’re not pushing faster?" And then when the Arab League finally got the car up out of the ditch -- and it’s got a few dings and a few dents, it’s got some mud on it, they’re going to have to do some work on it -- they point to everybody and say, "look what these guys did to their car own." After we got them to get it out of the ditch!

Well, I’m telling ya, no way we’re asking for the keys back! I don’t want them to give us the keys back. We don’t know how to drive! (Laughter.)

“We’ll come along for the ride,” we said, “but we’re definitely sitting in the back.” (Applause.)

I mean, I want everyone to think about it here. When you want to go nowhere in your car, what do you do?

AUDIENCE: N!

THE PRESIDENT: That's right, you put it in N. Neutral. You know what starts with N? That’s right. NATO. They’re going to idle in neutral, just like we want. They’ll bicker and whine and dither. This baby’s staying in neutral. (Applause.)

America, we are not going backwards. We’re not going forwards. Do we want to go back? Or do we want to go forward? I say we want to do neither. (Applause.)

Thank you Democrats. I love you! (Applause.)

END

12:54 P.M. EDT

7 comments:

  1. Such eloquence! So inspirational! Those tinkles are returning up my pantlegs! Wow!

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  2. If thios really were Obama, wouldn't it be like 20x longer?

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  3. It better be in the ditch.

    I don't think Obama can spell Boulevard.

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  4. What did he say? Sounds like polished Ditherblab to me!

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