His ways are higher than your ways

Obama’s Global Reconciliation Tour to Restore America’s Reputation disguised as just a mere presidential campaign has taken a few nuanced, counterintuitive positions in the past:

Obama to Pakistan, "I’m a cowboy"

Pakistan to Obama, "Shut up"

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Obama to Canada (and Mexico), "I’m a hammer"

Canada to Obama, "Tone it down"

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But we should have known that he was just getting warmed up:

Obama to Columbia, "Yo soy el jefe"

Columbia to Obama, "Grow up"

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Obama to Europe, "I’m a military expert"

Europe (NATO) to, "Stand down"

It would be hard to predict who he’ll piss off next to restore America’s reputation. We’ve given up trying:

As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are Obama’s ways higher than your ways
and his thoughts than your thoughts.