Thursday, April 24, 2008

One man's genius come to fruition

Via Memeorandum, we see that Karl Rove has penned an article in the Wall Street Journal today. In it, he assesses the Democratic race and its candidates.

It is well-written. It contains a great amount of information and is a vast trove of political wisdom.

Democrats would be well-served to pay close attention. But they should also be very wary -- afterall, this is Karl Rove.

We wrote the other day advising Democrats of the only way they could save their party. While some may take it as a tongue-in-cheek slap at the current state of the their presidential nomination process, please be assured, no such intent is present. It is serious advice, and it is, as advertised, the only thing that can save them.

But the fact that repealing the Twenty-Second Amendment and facing President Bush in the 2008 election is the only thing that can save the Democratic Party is not, most assuredly not, simply a matter of dumb Republican luck.

It is a matter of one man’s genius come to fruition.

The story itself actually begins back in November of 1973, when a young Karl Rove met a young George W. Bush. Bush was at Harvard, and Rove was an up and coming political operative. Rove understood then that he had met the man through whom he would one day destroy the Democratic Party.

From that point on, Karl Rove has been directing events that ultimately led to Bush’s election as President of the United States in 2000 – and events subsequently to achieve this goal.

In the Presidential election of 2000, Rove intentionally brought about the historically close election. He ensured that his candidate would lose the popular vote, yet win the electoral vote. He saw to it that winning the electoral vote would only come as a result of a long, contested process that would leave opponents claiming that the election had been stolen.

He deliberately executed this plan to inflict collective psychological trauma on the Democratic Party. Though details remain sketchy and unconfirmed, there are strong indications that Rove accomplished this plan using compromised voting machines, pharmaceutically tainted water supplies, time travel, mind rays, brain washing through subliminal messages imbedded in campaign ads, and good old fashioned bribery and extortion at the highest levels.

The Democratic Party, quite confident that it had won the election but quite powerless to prevent it from being stolen, was rendered quite incapable of rational, logical opposition to President Bush. Unable to critically formulate a strategy to oppose President Bush’s agenda, the party critically erred in opposing the President with unchecked emotional aggression. In almost every matter of serious contention, Democrats would overreach in hyper partisanship.

This pattern of events ensured that each emotionally charged loss the Democrats suffered only caused an escalated amount of emotional charge into the next political battle. After years of operating on such emotions, Democrats became almost incapable of calculated strategy.

Further, Rove continued to orchestrate events, which normally would be uncontroversial, but to Democrats would generate cries of high crimes and misdemeanors – ensuring that Democrats would continually be chasing nothing more than their tails.

Rove planted a fake memo to convince Democrats that President Bush dodged the Vietnam War. He performed a non-outing of a non-covert CIA desk agent, to convince Democrats that President Bush ended the career of the most important national security asset this country has ever known as an act of political retaliation, smearing a heroic whistleblower.

Rove’s plan has been executed so successfully that President Bush has been blamed for nearly everything, even far beyond matters political. Bush has been blamed for wildfires, and bad traffic; for broken marriages and even abortions.

Now, Karl Rove has left his formal role in the administration of George W. Bush. Soon, President Bush will leave the White House. However, Rove has accomplished the culmination of his entire political vision – a hatred within the Democratic Party that has become uncontrollable, such that in the absence of President Bush as an electoral opponent, Democrats turn their hatred upon one another.

Facing President Bush in 2008 is the only opportunity for Democrats now to focus their hatred away from their own candidates. Further, defeating President Bush is the only means of exorcising that hatred – a hatred with which they are now defined and without which they have no unifying purpose.

Of course, being now emptied of reason, rendered incapable of coherent strategy and filled entirely with hate, it is certain this advice will go unheeded.

But this should surprise no one. Because Karl Rove, who thirty five years ago found the perfect candidate with which to steal an election and destroy a party, already thought of that too.


  1. Love this--esp. your first planting covertiness in the urban dictionary and then citing it as authority here. I thought only lawyers did that--plantinf stuff in Congressional testimony and law review articles to later cite as authority in Supreme Court briefs.

    Ooops, shouldn't divulge that.

  2. Not only all of this but Karl Rove's father found and guided George Bush Senior into the Presidency, thereby assuring that Dubya would have name recognition.

    My God, how far back does this go? Could it be that the founding of our very nation was orchestrated by a Rovian ancestor? Whooo...the mind whirls with the possibilities.

  3. Yeah, cf, that covertiness reference was about as transparent as was the cover, you know who...

    Otto -- yeah, I didn't go back that far, you know, I can't scoop Rove's entire auto-biography.

  4. Somebody needs to tell the folks over at DU about this!